Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Doors

There is something terrifically satistfying about slamming a door as a way of making your point in a disagreement. Doors serve many different uses in life - they can shut out that which we fear or do not welcome, or simply want to ignore. Likewise they can be flung open in a welcoming gesture. We can lock them, secreting away that which we do not want to see, or that which we do not wish to share with others.

Misha liked doors - he had always associated them with security. Rightly so - closed doors afford much security. To him it had become somewhat of an obsession - he couldn't even think straight if a door was partially open. Not one to excel scholastically, nevertheless he was able to keep satisfactory grades in all subjects but one.
For reasons unknown yet still disturbing, his teacher of geography had the terrible habit of leaving the classroom door open during her lessons. Not wide open - just cracked enough to let in a draft and the unnerving suspicion that someone was watching him from the other side - the lack of security a partially opened door afforded made it impossible for the 12-year old boy to focus on European city capitols or lifestyle in Senegal.
And so Misha failed exams and was repeatedly scolded for his inattentiveness - the teacher was at first puzzled, then irritated, then indifferent. Her questioning of his reasons brought her to dead-end after dead-end - he would only repeat that he couldn't concentrate, and it didn't matter anyway. Not one particularly soft-hearted toward the struggling student, she wrote him off as a boy who, through either stubborness or idiocy, would always receive failing grades in her class.

Misha himself was not completely aware of the reasons for his unsettledness - to him it was just part of who he was. It was this that compelled him to engage in a fistfight with one of his classmates - another boy who simply decided he wanted the bed facing the door. Misha would never forget walking into that bedroom for the first time, and realizing that he had been assigned a bed in the corner, near the windows. His heart began to pound - couldn't they understand? He had to have the bed facing the door. The last thing he needed to see at night, in order to fall asleep, was that firmly closed door - the first thing he needed to be able to see was the threat of it opening. What if someone came into their room? He needed to be the one to see it first.
The other boy simply liked the bed and chose it - doors for him meant no more than floors - necessary elements of a building. When Misha had objected and said he wanted the bed, it became a sporting challenge - ended by a winner-takes-all fistfight. Misha was the smaller of the two, but he fought for a cause, and in the end it was he who laid staring at the door night after night, contented by its closed-ness.

4 comments:

daylon said...

Thanks for the story Jenni! Look forward to more.

The Fryin' Ducthman said...

Greetings from oregondan, russianjen, our first meeting of course in adjacent seats @ Geoff and Stacy Hastings' wedding a couple years ago.

Thank you for the depth, the window and the door, into another world.
Authenticity is proved right by all her children.

The prayers of the saints follow after thee. LORD willing I will set my gaze more clearly on the motherland soon. A trip to Krasnagorsk is slated for January.

Peace be with you.

ramona said...

Thank you so much for being willing to tell the stories from the kids' point of view. We have adopted five children from Russia, ages 8, 9, 12, 13 and 14 at the time of adoption, so we have heard many of these stories from their own mouths. It takes a little work to find out what is behind a particular problem, like Misha's doors, but it is time well spent.

Are you able to say what part of Russia you are in? We adopted our children from Far East Russia - Amur Region. We have a deep love for the Russian people, and hope to return there someday, perhaps even to find a sister of some of our kids.

Blessings
Ramona

Kristan and Mark said...

I spent 4 hours a day at an orphanage in kazakhstan for the adoption of my daughter. I was actually in her group during our visits. It was heartwrenching, yet so fortelling. The room though was the baby room. I am forever haunted by the faces of the children left behind.

I look forward to more of your post.
Kristan